Classic Parenting Books
2 minute read
Times change. But the deep basics of growing children up and growing parents never change. Here are some of my time-honored classics to help.
Child Development Classics
Your-One-Year-Old, Your-Two-Year-Old,…Your-Fourteen-Year-Old
By Louise Bates Ames, M.D., and Frances Ilg, Ph.D.
Authors Ames and Ilg share their 50 years of experience at The Gesell Institute of Child Development at Princeton University to discuss “typical” physical, social, emotional, and cognitive developmental stages for each year. They also share some of their theories, such as the concept that some children go through a cycle of organization/ disorganization/organization/disorganization in 18 month cycles. I have found this to be true for some children—and this gives hope to parents experiencing the “disorganization” cycles! These books really help when we ask ourselves the ongoing question: “Do other kids their age do this? Is this normal??”
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TOUCHPOINTS THREE TO SIX, THE IRREDUCIBLE NEEDS OF CHILDREN, ETC.
By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D.
The internationally famous pediatrician T. Terry Brazelton, in collaboration with eminent child psychiatrist Joshua Sparrow, bring unique insights to the "magic" preschool and early elementary grade years. In this series, the authors apply the touchpoints theory (following the pattern of growth-new challenge-regression-recharging-and renewed growth) to each of the great cognitive, behavioral and emotional leaps that occur from age three to six.
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Communication Skills Classic
How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk
By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Two moms wrote this classic on adult-child communications. And if you are too busy to read the chapters, the wonderful cartoon strips provide rapid-fire illustrations and all the words you will need in a challenging situation. I first read this book when my oldest was three and stayed up til 1am in the morning, soaking up all the words that I never heard from my mother’s mouth. Most of us hear our parents’ words coming out of our mouths at the worst times and this book provides us with the words to foster positive relationships with respectful communication. This book was required reading for every parent of 2, 3, 4, or 5 year-olds that enrolled their child in the nursery school where I was a teacher and director. This book is a gift—and it may even help you with communications with your co-parenting partner!!!
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Problems Classic
Is It a Big Problem or a Little Problem? When to Worry, When Not to Worry, and What to Do
By Amy Egan, Amy Freedman, Judi Green Berg, Sharon Andersen
This book describes itself as “Your road map through the ups and downs of early childhood.” This book helps parent know if a behavior is a “stage” or if it is a cause for genuine concern. And if your child seems to be very sensitive to sensory issues of noise, temperature, touch, etc., the chapter on Sensory Integration is priceless.
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Parental Self-expectations Classic (kind of!)
The Good Enough Mother
By Donald Winnicott
I was given this book as a gift. I found the title shocking at the time. I was trying sooo hard to be The Perfect Mother. This book title—I never read the book!— gave me permission to try less and enjoy myself more as a mother, as well as stretched me to self-forgiveness in those times when I was closer to The Witch Mother than even The Good Enough Mother.
I never read the book. The title was enough for me. Maybe you can save yourself some money and not buy this book but add the phrase “The Good Enough Mother” to the self-talk that buzzes through our head. Mom-time (and Dad-time) may be time to lower expectations, all around!!